Parentline Plus - Blogs

Stomach pains

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 14:53:58 GMT

It briefly struck me, as we drove through London at dawn, what a difference a day makes. The previous day we had my 21 week scan at St Thomas’s Hospital. All was looking normal and my mum, Matt and I had giggled at the shy baby on the screen who refused to show its face for the camera.But as I clutched the pain in my stomach and stuck my head out of the window in case I was sick, things seemed a little less rosy. I had...

Summer holiday starts with A&E

Fri, 20 Aug 2010 10:37:45 GMT

Well, I realise that I haven't written for a while but juggling elderly parents, kids, husband, work and home hasn't allowed any time for me. I am sure that a lot of you can relate to that! :) Anyway, we were all looking forward to a caravan holiday in Mablethorpe. I know that it doesn't sound like much but it's a great holiday for families and I was in desperate need of the break! I was extremely organised (for a change!) and had all the bags packed early but then we received word from the hospital that my 1 year...

Our romantic getaway... with a baby

Tue, 03 Aug 2010 11:45:04 GMT

For our first holiday as a family, we considered cramming the car with baby gear and driving to a child-friendly holiday park. For about three minutes. Then we decided to go to Paris instead. By train, with our stuff in backpacks and Ella in a sling. And because that sounded a bit cushy, we thought we'd look for a hotel once we got there, rather than booking in advance. I can see now that we were trying to recapture the romantic, impulsive holidays of our early twenties....

Are on-site police a good thing for schools?

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 11:02:44 GMT

The general role of a Police Community Support Officer (or PCSO) seems largely to provide a visible presence that has a preventative affect on crime, particularly anti- social behaviour. Now, as well as patrolling their local community, PCSO’s can have a role in schools. According to the Metropolitan Police website, these officers can work with school staff to solve problems within the school, patrol the school and the surrounding area, and “use restorative justice to deal with incidents involving students.” The website says PCSO’s “make people feel safer in their community and...

Telling the Family

Mon, 26 Jul 2010 10:49:45 GMT

After six pregnancy tests from three different brands, there was no doubt about it - I was well and truly up the duff. How did we feel? Amazed, elated, excited, stunned and very slightly terrified. We walked round in a delighted daze - texting constantly when we were apart. But it was a big secret. Apart from the GP, no-one knew. I am very close to my mum, but had decided not to tell her that we had started trying. If anything, I had done everything to throw...

Does zero tolerance work in schools?

Fri, 23 Jul 2010 14:10:13 GMT

Parentline Plus has been highlighting the problem of violence in schools and how it is being dealt with. We hear a lot these days about schools having a policy of ‘zero tolerance’ towards violence. I would offer a word of caution against this. I feel zero tolerance is becoming an easy way of dealing with aggression between children rather than a method of protecting them. Whatever the cause, it seems that when one student physically attacks another, as part of its zero tolerance policy, the school will often take the position that...

A life lost through bullying

Fri, 23 Jul 2010 14:02:44 GMT

At about 5pm on Tuesday, 12 December, 2006 I returned home from work to find that my wife had had an argument with our 11 year old son, Ben, who had gone up to his room. I went to see how he was and found that he had hanged himself from his bunk bed. From the way he had done it, I obtain some comfort from believing that he had not really intended to kill himself but was just making a gesture that had gone wrong. Ben could be quite good at making big gestures. Before this, we had been...

To test or not to test…

Thu, 08 Jul 2010 13:11:40 GMT

One morning, I was sitting up in bed drinking a cup of tea Matt had brought me. I turned to him and said: " I feel odd". He laughed and jokingly said: "But sweetheart, you are odd!". But I’d been feeling odd all week. I had hot flushes, some stomach pain, and this funny taste in my mouth. A few days later, a work colleague was so convinced I was sickening for flu, she tried to persuade me to go home early. A thought dawned. Was it...

Mum’s taxi – out of service

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 16:42:45 GMT

When I was growing up I knew every single bus route in my town. I knew the bus numbers, the times and even the fares. I had to - we didn’t have a car. Of course a life without your own set of wheels is fairly limited, but you work your way around it. My own children don’t even know where the nearest bus stop is. Or at least they didn’t until last week. I must admit, after passing my driving test in 1988 (third time lucky) I did appreciate the freedom...

Happy first birthday Ella!

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 11:14:56 GMT

This time last year I'd gone into labour - and decided to mow the lawn... As I prepared for Ella's first birthday party (to be held – appropriately – on our lawn) I remembered that crazy, last-minute nesting urge. I remembered a lot of other things, too. The crackle of the TENS machine, the dawn drive to the hospital over what felt like a thousand speed bumps, and the realisation that after months of waiting this was really happening: I was having a baby. The memories were...

Who needs Friends?

Mon, 07 Jun 2010 13:02:47 GMT

Call me old fashioned, but I’ve always thought it a little odd when parents aspire to be their child’s best friend. Adult child – yes. But under the age of 18 a child is still a child and needs a parent to be just that. The friends bit comes later and can last for many, many decades. However, as a mum of three teenagers and one pre-teen, I’ve had to have a rethink on the friends issue, in a bid to keep pace with the 21st century in general and...

PND...things are getting better

Mon, 17 May 2010 12:46:41 GMT

WOW! I feel like a cloud has lifted today. I found out that my hormones are causing a lot of the problems and now I am getting treatment. Just realisation that I am not imagining it all and that there is actually a scientific reason for it all has made me feel a lot better. However, in my discussions with a consultant, I found out that it has been shown that there is a genetic predisposition to depression. So, if you do have members of the family who have suffered from depression, it is best to look after yourself. Do...

Can you child proof pot plants?

Tue, 11 May 2010 11:09:50 GMT

As a parent, you quickly learn that babies reach milestones in their own sweet time (maybe because they don’t read baby manuals). Still, it’s hard not to compare your child to others. I meet regularly with friends from my antenatal class, and their babies have been crawling rings around Ella for weeks. Meanwhile she’s sat happily on the floor, occasionally grabbing at their faces as they pass. And then, one sunny morning with spring in the air, she decided she was ready. With a look of astonished delight on her...

Postnatal depression part 3

Fri, 07 May 2010 14:20:25 GMT

This morning I felt like curling into a ball and just sobbing my heart out. Why? I have absolutely NO idea.......I just woke up feeling really down with my head all cloudy with a million thoughts but could I pin down exactly what was making me feel so down? No such luck! I forced myself to get up and got the children ready. As we were walking to school, my eldest wanted to talk about the election and was bombarding me with a million questions and I could feel myself getting more and more irritated. Luckily, I was still able...

Postnatal depression and me...part 2

Sun, 02 May 2010 23:32:27 GMT

I am not alone!!!!!! You know that's what hit me this week. I just happened to ask another mum in the playground if she was okay and she burst into tears. Apparently, she's been feeling down for quite some time and has also been diagnosed with depression. Funnily enough, she's also been put on Setraline so we were able to swap stories about side effects etc. Another mum overheard us and told us that she had problems after the birth of her second child and was on medication too. I am sure that if we spoke about it more openly,...

The Summer Gala

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 13:00:29 GMT

When I was a child there was an advert on the telly which showed a middle aged man asking his mum if he could stay off school because he wasn’t feeling well. “Of course you have to go Malcolm – you’re the Head Teacher,” replied his mum as he was suitably dosed up with whatever medication the advert was selling and off he went with a smile on his face. At the time I thought it was ridiculous. How could a grown-up - and a head teacher at that - not...

Dare we become parents?

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 16:42:24 GMT

Claire Walker, 31, is Policy and Communications Director at Parentline Plus and has recently discovered she is expecting her first baby - something she and husband Matt never dared hope would happen. Both will be regularly blogging to share their pregnancy experiences…and, later on, the challenges of their new family. Claire writes: "When I was at sixth form, university and early twenties, most of my friends spent their whole time worrying about getting pregnant. Back in my student days, when "being serious with someone" meant that they allowed you...

Moments in my week that I would like to remember:

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 11:05:02 GMT

Grandpa and I recently had our daughters and grandchildren to stay. Fortunately they only overlapped for 24 hours! I am no longer weary – the washing has been done and the place is back to normal. It’s quiet, peaceful but slightly empty, so to cheer myself up I am going to remember the best bits:

Being woken up in the morning by our 1 year old grandson quacking and pointing to the bay window so that he can look out to see the ducks. Eventually he managed to climb up and...

Sleep deprived? Join the club!

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 10:48:44 GMT

Before Ella was born, I asked various friends with small children if they had any advice. I expected parenting tips, but each of them replied with wild, bloodshot eyes: “Sleep! Sleep as much as you can now, while you have the chance!” Chris and I didn’t need persuading: we loved to sleep. Our families knew not to ring us before lunchtime at weekends. In fact, looking back now, the first ten years of our relationship seem like one long lie-in. But things were about to change. In May...

Spoke too soon!

Wed, 07 Apr 2010 21:42:58 GMT

I should learn by now not to jinx things but my last posting about things being okay at my daughter's school turned out to be a load of rubbish! The school had told me that they dealt with everything but having a few days with my daughter over Easter has made me realise that actually things have got worse and not better! I was speaking to another mum from the school who has transferred her child to a different school altogether (starting next term). I have decided to give school just after Easter and if there are still problems, I...

Dads behind bars

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 12:52:53 GMT

Nick Duerden discovers Parentline Plus’ work helping prison dads improve relationships with their children

Look hard enough, and you can expect to find at least a smattering of courses run specifically for new, and fairly new, fathers in your neighbourhood. They take place perhaps at the local community centre, or at the hospital, in church halls. Less obviously, they are also run in some of the nation's more forward-thinking prisons - though eligibility here is strictly, of course, for the already convicted.

For the past few years now, several British prisons have run so-called Family Learning courses for...

Postnatal depression and me...part one

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 21:17:49 GMT

Well, things have finally calmed down with my daughter.......wahey! :)The school have finally listened to all the parents (no, it wasn't just me complaining) and have dealt with the bullying issues.....thank goodness! However, the whole situation left me feeling a bit strange, which is why I haven't updated my blog for a while. It's hard to explain but I just didn't feel like me. Everything was still getting done around the house, the children were being well cared for and my husband was happy but I just felt totally drained. I rang the health visitor because things just didn't feel...

The to-do list

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 17:44:07 GMT

I am a fairly organised kind of person: I have four children. I have four children and a husband. I have four children, a husband and a dog. I have four children, a husband, a dog and a job. And I haven’t even started on my parents or my elderly mother in law. But you get the picture: I have lists. Lots of them, as it’s the only way I can function. Take yesterday’s list – or just a fraction of it: Complete article about lists due tomorrow. Download pictures for daughter...

My daughter's problems are my fault?!?

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 22:23:21 GMT

Well, as I am writing this I am in tears. Unfortunately, I am one of those people who cries and hides when she's angry. I know it's a silly strategy but old habits die hard. Anyway, I'll have to start from the beginning for this to make sense. So here goes.....well, half term was a relief although by Friday, I couldn't wait for my daughter to go back to school. I'm sure that there a few of you nodding your head along in agreement. However, she started stressing about returning to school over the weekend so I went in to...

Playground Politics

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 23:08:36 GMT

I know it's been a while but I feel like I've been to hell and back with all this bullying business. I have now realised that navigating your way through the politics of the playground isn't just a skill for the child but for the parents as well! I actually thought that I got on with all the parents quite well but when I approached the school about my daughter being bullied, things just got blown out of proportion and took on a life of its own. Before I knew it, there were sides in the playground....parents had allegiances! I...

Oh, the joys of weaning!

Mon, 15 Feb 2010 12:42:15 GMT

Today I found myself eating salt and vinegar crisps from a bowl, using a spoon. Weaning Ella onto solid foods is proving to be hard work. For one thing, she refuses her healthy mush if she sees me eating something that looks more interesting. Hence the unusual method of eating crisps – I was pretending they were vegetable puree, just like she had in her bowl. It certainly put a new twist on the crisp-eating experience – you should try it someday. This is just one of the devious...

Meet our new blogger: granny Lorna Edwards

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 14:48:25 GMT

Lorna Edwards is 61 years old and lives in the heart of Suffolk with her husband Gary, 2 borrowed cats and 15 mallard ducks. Lorna is now semi-retired, having set up the grandparents’ support website www.grannynet.co.uk with her youngest daughter Verity in 2008. Formerly a primary school teacher in schools across Essex and Suffolk, she has two daughters and four grandchildren. Starting this month, she shares her news and views with Parentline Plus… “I’m often asked why I travel over 200 miles a week to visit both sets of grandchildren...

My daughter's being bullied! Agh!

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 12:39:13 GMT

Well, I made the decision about work.....I'm going back two days a week with the view to increasing it as my children get older. I'll have to be careful with my spending though. However, when I think everything is finally on an even keel.......BAM! Crisis number three! Both my children were poorly and at home and we were watching a programme where friends were moving to different schools. My daughter asked me why and I said that sometimes, people grow apart as they grow older and you have to make new friends. Well, that was it........it all came flooding out!...

Do dads need an instruction manual?

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 12:06:14 GMT

"Nervous new fathers?" queried a newspaper headline last week, over news that the government has either belatedly realised or else suddenly decreed - it isn’t entirely clear which - that fathers are mostly a good thing in a young child's life. Recent studies, they say, have shown that the more involved the father is with their child, the more the child benefits, likewise his relationship with his partner, and hereby theoretically avoiding all that messy business of acrimony, separation and divorce. "Well," the newspaper headline continued, "here comes the instruction manual."...

To work or not to work?

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 13:15:27 GMT

Well, another week seems to have flown by and it's nearly time for baby group again. Have you noticed how time speeds up when you have children? There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything done or may be I'm just not organised......who knows?!? At least I have one less worry on my mind. My husband and I seem to have got some of our spark back. The DVD night didn't work out (probably my choice of film!) but bonding while playing the WII worked a treat as did an evening with friends.....their eldest...