Building children's self-esteem
Posted in Parents
Monday 23 November 2009
In Articles
Everything you need to know about building a child's self esteem.
Self-esteem is knowing that you matter and that other people do too. Our attitudes towards ourselves affects how we feel and what we do, as well as how we treat others.
Self-esteem helps you:
- deal with problems
- get on well with others
- make the most of life
The power of language
LabellingHow you talk to your children affects their self-esteem. Blaming, criticising, labelling and demanding are likely to give children negative messages about themselves that can last a lifetime.
When you call a child words like lazy, selfish or naughty you label them. Labelling children are like putting them into a box - labels stick and they end up believing that they are lazy, selfish or naughty.
When you use labels, as well as giving your children negative messages about themselves, you are not giving them useful information about what they are doing that is a problem for you or what you would like them to do differently. And so you are also not giving them an opportunity to do anything about it.
PraisePraise and appreciation are important things that you can give your children to build their self-esteem. But how you praise affects children in different ways. Even 'good' labels set limits.
Telling children that they are good or sweet or wonderful puts them in a box too. It does not tell them what they have done that you liked or give them the satisfaction of hearing how it helped you.
Describing clearly what they have done shows you have noticed and allows them to take a step back and see their own achievements so that they can value them as well.
Groups and workshops give you the opportunity to share your experiences with other parents and to get some fresh ideas on how to help you and your children make the most of life.
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Community section where you can swap ideas, share experiences and chat parent to parent.
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