Support for parents facing separation at Christmas
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Parenting charity offers support to parents facing separation as Christmas draws closer
Parent support charity, Parentline Plus, is bracing itself for an increase in calls to its 24 hour helpline this Christmas from parents who have split up or are planning to separate.
The charity has found that during the festive season, staff manning the Parentline Plus helpline need to provide more support for parents who have split up or are planning to separate than at any other time of the year.
Latest Parentline Plus statistics show that during Christmas 2008, 1035 calls out of a total of 1,640 calls were made by parents who had split up or were worried about separating from their partner. This equates to 63% of all calls over Christmas to the charity’s helpline.
Figures for 2007 also show that a high number of parents called over Christmas concerned about separation issues (672 calls out of a total of 1,579). This equates to 42% of all calls to the helpline.
The Parentline Plus research shows that calls from parents about divorce, couple conflict and isolation all increased from Christmas ’07 to Christmas ’08.
For example calls about divorce made up 9.33% of the 1,597 calls made in 2007. This rose to 15.18% of the 1,640 calls made in 2008. Couple conflict also increased from 9.02% of calls in 2007 to 14.02% of calls in 2008.
And isolation was cited as a concern by 8.29% of callers in 2008 compared to 6.20% in 2007.
Jeremy Todd, Parentline Plus Chief Executive said:
“Christmas can be a real pressure point for separated parents, especially if relations aren’t good. Parentline Plus believes it is important that parents are supported to find a way of communicating and working together for the sake of their children.
“Christmas can be a particularly poignant time for children who are reminded that their family life has changed. It’s important that separated parents negotiate the time spent with their children over Christmas and involve children in those plans. It’s not just what’s convenient for the parents – children need to be happy with the arrangements too.”
Every year, Parentline Plus receives thousands of calls to its free confidential, 24-hour Parentline 0808 800 2222 from separated parents struggling to make contact and relations with a former partner work.
The charity also produces a range of leaflets for families experiencing divorce and separation. These can be requested from the Parentline or downloaded from the new look website, www.parentlineplus.org.uk
Parentline Plus offers some tips for families who have undergone change this Christmas
- Put the kids first. Christmas is a time for children to enjoy themselves and have fun - not feel torn between their two families. Focussing on your child will make you feel better too.
- Planning and good communication are the key to the success of Christmas. Children will feel happier if they know what is going to happen in advance.
- Take a fair approach over Christmas with your ex and their family. Children need continuing contact with grandparents, aunts and uncles from both sides of the family.
- If you aren’t spending Christmas day with your children, suggest having your own special day on a different date whereby you get to do all the things you would normally do on the day.
- If you can, talk to your ex about what you are buying so you don’t end up with a disappointed child and two frustrated parents who have bought duplicate presents. You may even want to agree on a set budget so you avoid competing with your ex.
- Make the time special and try and make the most of the situation. An ex having the time with your children is important and can also give you time off to see friends and recharge your batteries.
- Remember as your kids get older they will want to be involved in the planning and may want time to do their own thing as well.
- If your child lives at home with you make sure your ex knows about and has the opportunity to go to your child’s nativity plays, festive events at school etc.
- If you are used to your ex doing all the shopping and feel overwhelmed and don’t know what to do; talk to your ex and ask if they will share the children’s wish list or a grandparent who may have some ideas.
Parents and carers struggling with contact issues this Christmas can call Parentline on 0808 800 2222, or contact the e-mail helpline parentsupport@parentlineplus.org.uk or visit the website
www.parentlineplus.org.uk.
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Notes to editors:For interviews and media enquiries, contact: Simon Walsh, Parentline Plus Press Office on 020 7284 5500 or email
simon.walsh@parentlineplus.org.uk Parentline Plus services include:Parentline, free from landlines and most mobile networks: 0808 800 2222