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Bullying

My daughter's problems are my fault?!?

Posted in Bullying

Saturday 27 February 2010

by mummyto2

In Blogs

Well, as I am writing this I am in tears. Unfortunately, I am one of those people who cries and hides when she's angry. I know it's a silly strategy but old habits die hard. Anyway, I'll have to start from the beginning for this to make sense. So here goes.....well, half term was a relief although by Friday, I couldn't wait for my daughter to go back to school. I'm sure that there a few of you nodding your head along in agreement. However, she started stressing about returning to school over the weekend so I went in to have a word with the teacher first thing on Monday. Everything seemed fine for a couple of days and then my daughter started to come home in tears again. I asked her what had happened and she said that she felt that the teachers were no longer helping her with bullies. So, on Friday morning, I went to have a word with the Head and he said that he would investigate and meet with me at the end of the school day. When I met up with him after school, he had the nerve to tell me that I had created this mess myself by listening to my daughter complain about school and that I should stop listening to her problems! He said that it's like when you put a child to bed, the more attention you give them the longer it takes for them to settle. He said that I should not allow her to tell me about her school day as I was rewarding her with attention. Basically, he was making out that all this stuff with the bullies was attention-seeking behaviour on her part. What makes it worse is that at least three other parents have been in to complain about bullying in the class...so is it their children's fault as well? So I was furious and came home and told my husband.......you know what!?! He agreed with the head! Which brings me nicely to the next point....we were just talking about the whole thing now and my husband had the nerve to say that my daughter is more prone to being bullied because I'm making her soft! AGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like I am surrounded by morons. No wonder children feel they have no-one to turn to with people like this around. The sad thing is now I am beginning to doubt myself......have I been paying her TOO much attention? Have I been listening too much?????? How sad is that.........

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Comments

  1. Monday 22nd March 2010
    I would just like to say to Mummyto2 that I am in exactly the same position as you. Do not let the school get away with that. Schools seem to think that mums are all neurotic and creating scenarios that are not there. We are the ones who worry about out children, if we didn't who would? If I were you I would go back to the school and get them to put in writing exactly what they are going to do to help you. Do they not have an anti-bullying policy? My son is exaclt the same, says that no-one will play with him and pepople pick on him. From his point of view the playground teachers do nothing to help him.

    I have already been to the school several times but am on the verge of going back again. They do listen to me, but don't seem to do anything to help. His teacher told me there was no issue and that it was me making him anxious!!
  2. Wednesday 7th April 2010
    Thanks for your comment. It is nice knowing that I am not alone. It is just a relief to have a couple of weeks off for Easter! However, I am starting to get more and more anxious as the start of the new term approaches. How sad is that?
  3. Monday 19th April 2010
    That's your job, to listen and try and help. Sometimes things need to be taken with a pinch of salt, but you will know when there's a problem. Stand your ground with the school, it is tough (my daughter's school play lip service and want to sweep it all under the carpet) and sooo frustrating. Talking to your daughter now and supporting her will mean she will keep talking to you, even through the hormonal teenage years! L
  4. Tuesday 27th April 2010
    hey i thought i was the only one that cries and hides away when things get tough! i have problems with my 5 year old, not the same as yours but its nice to know i am not on my own. I have just joined the site and value any support!
  5. Friday 30th April 2010
    Hi there, sorry to hear ur having so many problems with ur daughter's school. If u find they're not listening or being patronising u could either contact the school governors as there should be one specifically for bullying, or contact OFSTED...to be honest I think if u just mentioned OFSTED to the Head, he may panic and start to listen!!!
    I hope u sort the problem out soon hun, keep us posted :) x

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